I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
