Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
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