the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
