I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
