He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
Randomize
