I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Randomize
