the new term for farting is butt boxing.
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
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