i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
