i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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