I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
Randomize
