They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
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