Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
Randomize
