There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Randomize
