I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
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