I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
She's not a foreskin expert like you
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
