When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Randomize
