used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Randomize
