yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
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