Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
Randomize
