So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
