If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
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