her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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