Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Randomize
