Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Randomize
