new low.... made out with someone while peeing
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
