I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
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