ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize
