sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
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