Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
