I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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