I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
he was CRYING into my vagina
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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