plz talk dirty to me
oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
Nicole vs. Life
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Randomize
