I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
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