After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
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