I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Randomize
