Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
