It's like God shit irony all over that family
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
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