We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
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