college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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