I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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