I puked a lego.
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
Randomize
