Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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