mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
