For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
