I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Randomize
