2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
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