K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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