Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
Randomize
