i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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