I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
